That’s about how i figured it would be…seems like it would be kinda weird to get right, and even then you kinda need that reassurance of a good pat 😆

They exist. I think primarily a Japan thing (no surprise…). I havent seen one in person, but seen them for sale or some weird bidet article about all the options you can get. Hot/cold water, his/her’s, blow dry, lights, music, multiple user pre-sets, etc. usually it’s sold as the entire toilet, not an “add-on” option.