• 0 Posts
  • 118 Comments
Joined 1 year ago
cake
Cake day: June 21st, 2023

help-circle

  • A friend persuaded me to go on a date with a girl I wasn’t particularly into. We went for a meal, then she wanted to go clubbing. But I’m not into that either, so she broke down in tears. I was pretty sure I hadn’t said anything that bad, but then the story came out: her ex-partner had the same first name and job as me, and the meal and clubbing were his favourite things, but he’d been found dead in another country with his common law wife and kids, and the similarity to me was effectively his coming back from the dead to be with her again.

    No there wasn’t a second date. I haven’t seen her since either. Neither have I taken dating advice off that friend since, although we are still friends.



  • letsgo@lemm.eetoScience Memes@mander.xyz2real5me
    link
    fedilink
    English
    arrow-up
    49
    ·
    8 days ago

    But you DO have a PhD. Claiming it is somehow not valid is a criticism of the establishment that awarded it to you. You’re just suffering from impostor syndrome, that’s all.

    Also, no employer will consider someone fresh out of education, even someone with a PhD, to have vast quantitites of useful real-world experience, so even declaring a PhD won’t see you land your first job with the expectations that you’ll ace every bit of it from day one.

    It’s good that you realise you know nothing. That is both accurate and useful. But don’t take it too far. What your PhD proves is that you have an ability to learn, understand and communicate, and THAT is what employers are looking for.










  • It’s not stolen. Brief history lesson:

    The lands of Israel and Jordan used to be part of the Ottoman Empire. The Ottomans sided with the Nazis.

    Brief aside: we know the Arabs believe that if you win a war, you win the land, and if you lose a war, you lose the land, because that’s what they want to happen with Israel. So this principle applies to them as well.

    When the Nazis lost, the Ottomans also lost, and that’s where the British and French Mandates began. The land was no longer owned by the Arabs because, according to the principle they live by, they lost the war, therefore they lost the land.

    The British Mandate for Palestine comprised an amount of previously Ottoman land, of which they allocated one third to the new country Israel (which includes Gaza and the West Bank), and two thirds to the new country Transjordan, later renamed Jordan. The land of Israel was not stolen by the Jews from the Arabs, it was lost by the Arabs in a war they lost. But they got two thirds of that land back, i.e. Jordan.






  • A support band for Madness. To call them crap would be an insult to all the genuinely crap bands out there. They went through crap and came out the other side. Then they went through whatever level of shitness that was and came out the other side. I don’t think anyone applauded them, except when they stopped making whatever ungodly racket they were making and went offstage. I’ve never been more relieved to hear a bunch of unmusical talent-free potty-mouthed morons finally STFU.


  • Being trusted in a particular location does not depend on your feelings but on whether or not your behaviour demonstrates that you have earned that trust. Looking for boundaries - how much you can get away with - does not demonstrate you can be trusted, unless you frame it from the other person’s perspective, for example you could ask your mom if she’s comfortable for dates to pick you up from a few houses down the road, and if not how far out you should go. This lets her set the boundary she’s comfortable with and you can gain trust by respecting that boundary and not attempting to push it - in fact go the other way and add 25 yards to it.


  • Your rights as an adult are that you now get to make your own rules and everyone else has to respect them. But the flipside of that is that you also have to respect everyone else’s rules, especially those of a homeowner.

    That homeowner might have rules about whether or not you can wear shoes inside, or whether you can smoke inside, etc. When you own your own place you get to make rules like this yourself, and you will be within your rights to expect your visitors, tenants and offspring to abide by them.

    If for example you make a rule that says “Don’t tell strangers my address” then you would be right to expect your children to abide by that rule.

    This is your mom’s rule and you have to abide by it. Tell your dates to pick you up and drop you off somewhere nearby without giving away your home address, and when you want to invite them home you need your mom’s agreement first, because it’s her house and her rules.

    BTW the “I want it my way!” attitude is that of a kid not an adult. Grown-ups make agreements and stick to them. If you want different rules you can try to negotiate with her, but you have to accept if she won’t change them. There are good reasons for not letting unknown people know your address.