Active ingredients:

Salt

Is the pear tree included? Do I get one pear tree? 12 pear trees? No pear tree? This might be a dealbreaker, so take your time answering.

Remember when they used to try to keep corruption somewhat hidden and deniable? Now the richest man in the world is just going to be walking around the White House, tugging the government’s leash on full display.

Try to be optimistic. Maybe you’ll just need to be sure to smile at your grandma when she visits you in prison while you’re serving your 10-year slave labor sentence because you didn’t scroll past that transgender furry porn fast enough.

If that info is already out there, you can’t get it back. Deleting your account won’t remove it from some other data broker’s server too. You can clear out one copy of it, maybe, but not the 1000s of others that were sold already.

Remember those racist mass text messages from… yesterday? How the fuck did someone know all those phone numbers belonged to black people specifically? And how did they get access to them? What other data do they already have? Everything is for sale. The fact you deleted an account is for sale. We are fucked.

Everyone is about to find out why privacy is important.

It’s like they made up house rules for some esoteric table game. Cones of Dunshire vibes.

Quick, someone quietly transfer OP to a different parish

We’re buying each other a new bed, I hope. The gift that keeps on giving. (The shit we have now is horrible.) You could go for something that enhances your home life together.

I used to go into Bed Bad and Beyond when I couldn’t think of anything, and walk out with a bag full of small things she wouldn’t normally go looking for herself. Neck warmers, fuzzy socks, bath bombs, candles, that sort of thing. If your trip is the big gift, you could do a basket (or stocking) of smaller cozy stuff.

There’s always an acceptable number of deaths with the GOP. It’s just happens to be infinite when it comes to healthcare, pandemics, poverty, guns - basically anything that won’t result in punishing innocent brown people. In that case the number is extremely low.

Sorry, but the answer we were looking for is “I’ll need to work on this over the weekend.” That’ll be all for today. We’ll call you.

“consumers risk losing access to the benefits of free or heavily subsidized handsets because the proposal would force providers to reduce the line-up of their most compelling handset offers.”

I can’t stress this enough: It’s almost always cheaper to pay full price for a phone, plus a pay-over-time fee through your credit card if needed, and use a prepaid MVNO instead of a major carrier.

So what they really mean is “we risk losing profits on our inflated rates if we can’t trap customers in our overpriced plans and play games with their bills.”

Bizarro EPA

It sued itself in its confusion!

There are 4 pips,

Toyota, Mazda and Honda are the only makes I’ve really ever considered, or ever plan to consider. Of those 3, Honda has not gone that route yet as far as I know. Correct me if I’m wrong.

I was considering a Mazda for my next car. Now I’m not.

I live in a place that gets fucking cold in the winter. If the normal fob option were always available and you get the option to pay for the convenience using an app, that would be one thing - though $10/month for that is ridiculous. But removing the fob option and locking this basic feature behind a subscription is exactly the sort of game I don’t want my vehicle to play with me.

Go ahead and sell roadside coverage, parts/repairs, batteries, get royalties from Sirius or whatever for extra cash flow. Make a great app that adds new convenient live-service features and is worth paying for, even. But fuck all these new subscription un-gimping games.

Im just imagining a cop asking if I know why I’m being pulled over and why I look so nervous, and I’m speechless because he’s wearing a fucking Vision Pro.

I know that’s not what’s happening here, but damn. Someday maybe.

Howard the coward ^👐

Someone’s got a bad case of the Tuesdays.

True, but I still want to see the poop numbers just to be sure.